The "Committee Sessions" and things to consider...

Ola Mama!

I hope my first letter about my MMA “issues” wasn’t too overwhelming!
It was for me!!

…and too bad for you it if was, because there's more where that came from!!

Now that the surgery is scheduled and it is an inevitability, I’ve been having periodic “committee sessions” in my head about a bunch of different things. So much to consider. So many things to plan for ….and so many things to worry about!! Oy!
Don’t get me wrong. For as big as this whole process seems, roughly 90% of me is really looking forward to it, and “getting on with my life”. (a quote used in every soap opera since the beginning of time)

From what I know and what I’ve read, being adequately prepared and having a positive mental attitude is key to a timely and easier recovery, so that’s what I’m out to do, first and foremost. Since I am no stranger to surgical procedures, I am lucky to have had those experiences under my belt. Those operations weren’t quite as major as this one will be, although that gnarly abdominal surgery I had when I was 12 probably runs a "close second". BTW, thanks for taking such good care of me through all of that.

So, I’m trying to be as positive as possible, but there’s still a part of me that thinks “poor me for having to go through this”.
Pity Party for Pinski!!! I guess that's to be expected (some what).

*Some* of the things to consider would be: a) The potential pain involved b) The possibility of unforeseen complications c) Not being able to eat regular food for a long time, d) The boredom that I’ll probably experience during my recovery period. e) How much this is all going to cost …and that’s what just comes to mind right now. I'm sure f, g and h, are soon to follow.
Do you suppose being part Italian and being raised catholic has anything to do with
all this worrying??? Ya, I thought so too! But that’s okay. I’m going to try to look at these challenges in small increments so they won’t overwhelm me, and I’m going to make a counter-plan for each of these “concerns”.
- For the pain, I plan on keeping a close eye on the amount of pain meds I take (and Paul will be a great help with this), and communicating with the doctor if it gets to be too much, instead of over-medicating.
- Un-foreseen complications? Don’t cross that bridge till you get to it, right? After all, I may never have to!
- Food? Okay, I could moan all day about not being able to eat steak, nachos, granola and all that, but it won’t be forever. I *will* eat that stuff again...Maybe not soon, but some day.
- Boredom? Well, “learian” said she slept a lot, so I’m hoping to do a lot of that, but I’m also going to have to find other things to keep me occupied. I’m thinkin’ People magazine….tmz.com...the Boob-tube….blogging;-)....practicing my Break-Dancing (only kidding!) …and I suppose I could also “make-like-a-teenager” and learn to “text-really-fast”!! Oh, the possibilities ….
- The co$t of it all? Well, sure. It’s going to take several years to pay this off, but it’s sure better than the alternative. I’m tired of being so tired!!

Some of the exciting unforeseen things I'm looking forward to are:
How my looks will change. As frightening as that may seem, I’m actually quite looking forward to that. (At the risk of ending up looking like Jay Leno, which I doubt will happen;-), I’m hoping that I have a stronger looking chin. I know, first and foremost, it’s about my health, and not about asthetics, but a stronger chin *would* be a nice "secondary benefit". Does that mean I’m a little vain or perhaps a bit shallow?? Maybe! ;-)
But mostly, I’m looking forward to getting a good, full nights sleep, waking up rested, and having the choice of sleeping on my side *or* my back. It’s tough to tell how much the apnea has been affecting me, really. I guess I’ll know after I experience what's different after it’s over. Will my daily dull headaches go away? Will I feel less fatigued? Will I not feel tired after I wake up? I won’t know until I’m on the other side of the MMA surgery, but I remain optimistic that many things will change for the better. Of all the blogs and forum postings I've read, most of the people don't regret having had the MMA surgery, and I don't plan on regretting it either.

So, this weekend I’m going back to the sleepnet.com site to do more reading. There’s still a lot to learn, and I am fer-shure going to start making some lists and checklists. I know I still have five weeks before the big surgery, but it will probably whiz by before you know it. I want to be prepared and ready for anything.

Now, if I could only convince "Mr. Caregiver" (a.k.a. Paul) that it’s all going to be okay. He can be a pretty big worrier too. I’m going to try like hell to get him to also read-up on the sleepnet.com site, and possibly some blogs to-boot. Just to get an idea of what to expect.

Well, that’s all for now. It was great talking to you the other night and I just want to tell you *again* how proud I am of you for quitting smoking after 50+ years. How long has it been now? Like 3 months? Absolutely FABU, dudette’!

Loads of love;

Pinski xoxoxo