Dear Mama;
Sorry I've been out of touch "blog-wise" for the past few days, but that's what happens when they throw you back in to the hospital again. d-OH!!
DISCLAIMER:
First, I have to say (and I'll explain why a little later), this doesn't happen to everyone. In fact, I'm not sure it's happened to anyone, but unfortunately it did happen to me.
That's why I'm titling this with the key word ADDENDUM in it, because it's like a sidenote. I really doubt that anybody who has an MMA/GA procedure would have to anticipate something like this happening to them. ...and by the way. Dr. KL said this is the first time (in all the hundreds of surgeries he's done) that he's seen something like this too.
Secondly: This blog is gonna be gross. No way around it, because that's how it was. ...but I know you're tough, mom!! (Although I must admit, I'm glad you weren't here for this one)
Lastly: For as bad as this may seem, other than feeling robbed of 3 days of my exceedingly- exciting life, I feel like the whole experience looked worse than it really was.
So, a brief recap: Remember how on day 6, I started to bleed profusely on and off for no apparent reason?
<from a couple of blogs ago>
So, then he said that if I start bleeding like that again, he will want to admit me to the hospital and go in to see why it's happening, because he hasn't seen that happen before. So, I've decided that I dont want to go back to the hospital, so I am on EXTREME "I'M NOT GOING BACK TO THE HOSPITAL" ALERT. Meaning. I'm not going to much of anything for now. Well, at least I'm really going to try.
Well, so much for that plan.
All was well on Wednesday. Things were looking good. Practically sunshine, lollypops and rainbows. I was taking it REALLY easy, and around 9 p.m. we were just about ready to finish watching this really bad movie when I realized it was time for my pain meds. So, I walked to the kitchen, poured them in to the little cup, tilted my head back and BAM!! Gushing blood again!!!
I kind of wimpered (I actually felt like crying becasue I knew what was in store) and yelled for Paul to come in and to get me some ice (since we'd been through this before) and it didn't take all that long to get things under control.
At first, I didn't want to call Dr KL on his cell and tell him about it, (thinking it was just another one-time fluke), but since it was actually the third time it had happened, I decided I would be a total dumb-ass not to call him.
He answered immediately, I told him what had just happened, and told us he'd call us back, but to get ready to come back to Stanford. Within minutes, he called back and told us where to meet him. (On the same non-ICU ward where I had stayed previously). He would set me up with a room for the night and go in and see what was up the next morning.
So, we got there, and Dr KL was (of course) already there. They got my room squared away, and he said he'd be back bright and early. I went in to the restroom to pee, and as soon as I tilted my head down, BAM AGAIN!! Again, I yelled for Paul to go catch Dr KL and asked the nurses to get me ice and a bucket. Unfortunately, this time I couldn't get the bleeding to stop. I don't know if it was because when I ice with pressure, I have to switch off arms, and this time they weren't letting me do that becasue they had put the blood pressure cuff around my left arm or why that was.
Dr. KL was back by then and was looking all around trying to see where all the blood was coming from, but he couldn't pinpoint it just by looking. I was trying not to choke because it was coagulating too quickly before I could spit it out, and it was sticking to the rubber bands that were attached to my "ouch bars".
I eventually got the bleeding to stop. ....and then it started again. And that happened several times, again and again. Then, it just didn't stop. By that time Dr KL was on the phone to Dr B the anesthesiologist to ask him to come in then, and Paul was on the sidelines, very quite and as white as a ghost. I told him to split, knowing what he'd been through the past couple of days, assuring him I was in the best of hands, and he did take my advice.
There were a lot of nurses trying to take off my clothes and get me in a gown, while I'm holding this bucket full of blood, spitting out coagulated glob upon coagulate glob. It was really pretty disgusting.
FINALLY, they got me on the rolling bed, and wheeled me up for emergency surgery.
Unfortunately, because of how "last moment" all of this was, the emergency room team was asking about all kinds of paperwork, (even a doc that I needed to sign) and it was a little bit chaotic. They seemed ready for me, but not "officially" ready until all the "I"'s were dotted and the "T"'s were crossed.
...but can I just say this: Dr KL is probably the most caring and incredible doctor I have ever had to privledge to meet. I am certain that there is absolutely no better doctor I could have had, and no way all of this could have happened in such a timely and professional manner, had it not been for his do-diligence. He kept his cool, got done what needed to be done and after a rather awkard (probably 30 minutes) of just waiting for everything to happen, finally wheeled me in for the surgery. 3 cheers for Dr Kasey Li!
Hip-hip Hooray! Hip-hip-Hooray! Hip-Hip- Hooray!!
One thing I forgot to mention to the doctor (and I'm sure you will remember this, mom) because I really didn't make a connection until then, and that was: Remember back in 93' when I had my (out-patient) UPPP surgery and you came out here to help take care of me? The surgery went well, but after 5 hours back at home, I still couldn't stop spitting up blood?......and the doctor made us drive (actually, I drove on liquid Vicadin and you held the spit-bag and tried not to fall apart) to Burlingame to re-operate on me?....and that doctor had mentioned that never in all the surgeries had he previously done, had this ever happened before? Sound familiar?
Anyway.......
.JPG)
Crap. So, I wake up yet again in the ICU. I felt okay. Turns out, that Dr. KL didn't really find any specific place from which I was bleeding profusely, so he went in and cauterized as much as he could. Just on the top, since that's where all the bleeding was coming from.
Later that morning, he told me that he'd decided we'd better have hematologists check me out to see if there's something wrong with me in the blood clotting (or in this case blood not-clotting) department.
That morning, I was given 2 units of blood. Did I mention I bled alot? Oh, right. I think I did.
The ICU is a nice place. I like the peeps there. My first ICU nurse Jason was a really nice guy and a really good caregiver. This time, the nurse I had for the longest aount of time was Kim B. Great nurse as well, and such a happy disposition. She said I cracked her up, especially when each hematologist came in and started asking me the same questions over and over. Hello!! Compare notes people! I'm surprised anybody could even understand me at all because my voice sounded really bad. Actually it still does, so I'm not saying much today. They also drew blood in order to test it.
Oh, and get this: I have no idea how, or when or where it happened, but when I woke in the ICU, the top of my left foot hurt. ?? HUH?? Like it had a cramp in it or something. Well, throughout the course of the next 2 days, it's gotten a lot worse. Swelling. Pain spreading. Gawd!! It hurts WAY more than my stupid jaw at this point! ... and nobody knows why! What a hoot!
...but IMO, it's kind of cool, because it shifts the focus from my jaw, elsewhere.
What a sight! I'm hobbling around like a gimp, and my voice is as raspy as Tom Waitts!
Unfortunately, I can tell a lot of differences with my mouth and jaw between after the first and after the second surgery.
Now, my top teeth are even more numb than they were, my pallet (a.k.a "the roof of my mouth") has a lot less feeling and my ears are really popping a lot. Oh well. It's still not all that terrible.
Finally, after almost a full 24 hours of the ICU, I was moved back to the C2 Unit at about 1 a.m. to the very same room I had the first time, but this time I had the bed by the window. It was nice seeing all the familiar faces. I almost felt like Norm from Cheers. (well, not really, but you know....) .
Then, that morning was Friday the 13th. Go figure.... Dr KL had been in and out so many times to check on me that by that time, I had lost track. He had come in early that morning and said that I was doing well, and if Hematology agreed, he'd like to let me go home later that day. Unfortunately, he hadn't heard a squeak out of the Hematology people, so we needed to wait until they gave the okay. Paul was there and our hopes were up that I would be going home, but The Hema-peeps never contacted him...or me...or anybody. Finally Dr KL paged them and contacted them on the (I think) 4th page. (Glad THEY weren't my surgeon!!)
It turns out that even though I had some irregular "levels" in my bloodwork, they didn't want to prescribe anything for me, but wanted me to stay another night just to make sure it wasn't going to happen again. GAWWWW!! So close.
Oh! ONE good thing about that Friday the 13th! I did have my first poo!
...but I digress. Anyway, Paul headed home and I settled in (with icebags on my foot) for another night in the big house.
......and today, they finally let me out!! Yay!!.JPG)
This is Nurse Laura, removing my last I.V.
So, we're home now. I'm relaxing, sipping on pureed bean with bacon soup and thought I'd drop you this little (HA!) note.
Also, it looks like I've lost about 15 pounds all-tolled. In my humble opinion, I had 10 too many to start with, so I'm *feeling* like I'm only 5 pounds down. I'll try to make it back up, and I'm sure I eventually will.
Don't worry mama. I'm fine, and Paulie (as usual) is taking good care of me. Bless his little thumper.
much love;
xoxoxo
Pinski
